On August 20, 2012 I wrote this article before. It was a rough time and I do stand by my words. The man name Elideth Bello did manage to try to get me back. But, I failed to see it and blocked him from my life. So he will never be a part of my life. As of Sept. 5, 2012 I kissed him goodbye. I still hold his CD of Lady GaGa’s Born This Way but I will sell it to someone who wants it. Here is the article. Enjoy getting to know me again.
The glorious days of men are never-ending for me. After all, I live in a dream. A dream where I will find the Prince Charming of my dreams and he will say the words “I love you” and really mean it. I am not afraid to say it in Spanish but in English, I am here alone saying it for my dreams are being destroyed. For you see, “I love you” is far too powerful. Men abused it too many times to me. And I can not say it that easily again. I remember the first time I ever said it. I remember the last time I read it. “I love you…” Bull shit.
The last one who said those three unfaithful words, to me, was a man name Elideth Bello. I do not know if that is his real name for he is an illegal immigrant. Yes, I realize I am ranting on the computer but, I do not think he will ever read this and understand what he has done. The power of the words “I love you” should be in person, not over the computer. For anyone can say it as simple as that. I can not for I have a hard time believing in it or saying it regardless where I am at. Anyways…
He said it around July 2012. Think of this: Okay, so we met around that time last year and I was very uncertain if I was ready to date or not. We went on four different dates, food and sex was only allowed. After all, I was busy doing summer classes and also, I will admit, there was an another man in my life. Of course, they both knew that I was seeing the other so I am not a whore. Never will be one. Elideth said goodbye last year after he realized I was not “ready” to date. Who is? No one. You take a chance, dear men, on me.
Anyways, he came back this year and let me tell you, I was surprised. After all, he walked away and well, now I am “sick.” I told him and he was going to stick by. And then he said the ungrateful words “I love you” in English. Mind you, he only speaks Spanish so for me, it was heart stopping. He told me to think about it and still wants to date me. But then, tragedy struck us both. He started with the comments of a mother-in-law.
I am like “Hold up!
What the fuck?
You called my mother, your mother-in-law!
And now you are parading around,
saying your mother-in-law is cooking for you!
Bull shit! We are done!”
If he really did love me, he would have messaged me, explaining the things. But nope. And if he really did LOVE me, he would have added me again. But it has been a whole week or so, and yet, NADA! I am much better that he is no longer in my life. I hope he finds someone he can actually say I LOVE YOU instead of being fake about it.
So the words “I love you” is very hard for me to believe. English: Simple and used in a friendly atmosphere…Spanish: complexity and very hard to say..even though it can be two words….
It is like “Toxic” by Britney Spears. As Britney sang “With the taste of your lips/I am on a ride/You’re toxic/I’m slipping under.”
Okay, hold up. How does that tie in? She is talking about love. Well, I used to care and have some love for him. But no…I slipped under because he pushed away. Now he wants me back and it will not happen. So, the ride…I am getting off, after his words of “I love you” does not exist for me anymore. Nor for anyone…good luck saying it.